THE INVISIBLE CHEF SHOWS UP VOLUNTEERS A PRIVATE COOKING CLASS FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO TIME FOR COOKING.

Whether you work in or out of the home, what you do mostly is....work. Cooking is the last thing you want to think about after a long day hunkered down over a hot computer, or a couple of darling (or not so darling today) children.
Not to worry, The Invisible Chef thinks about nothing but cooking so you don’t have to! Her (His? Its?)fervent desire is to present you with quick, easy (read really easy) meals that will nourish your body and what’s left of your mind at the end of the day. Case in point is the tasty soup recipe your unseen friend has created for this column. Enjoy, and if you happen to catch a glimpse of something sort of white whisking away in a far corner of your kitchen, pay no attention, it’s only your Chef, doing a Chef’s job.

TORTELLINI/RAVIOLI SOUP

1 9 oz. package tortellini or ravioli (the kind that’s kept in a refrigerated case) Any of the flavors will do beautifully. Please note that although the chef refers only to tortellini in the recipe, that’s to avoid writing both words every time. The Chef likes cooking, not typing!

3 —14 1/2 oz. cans chicken broth
2 tablespoons olive oil (extra virgin is best)
1 large clove fresh garlic, chopped fine
1 red pepper, cut in small strips to match the carrots. (Décor in the dish is everything, y’know.)
1/2 package shredded carrots
8 to 10 fresh spinach leaves(washed well, the chef hates sandy soup)
4 green onions chopped, tops and all
Grated Parmesan or Romano cheese; fresh grated is best, of course.

Sauté the garlic in the oil for a few seconds, just enough to soften it. Pour in the stock and bring to a boil. Toss in the tortellini and cook according to package directions. The last few minutes toss in the carrots and red pepper. When the tortellini is cooked, turn off the heat, and toss in the spinach leaves and chopped green onion. That’s it. You’re done. Sit down, eat, and enjoy. Serve this delicious concoction with a tossed green salad (you can tell your family you just tossed this whole meal together!)and a loaf of hot crusty bread and you’ve got a tasty (even healthy) feast! And oh, yeah, it freezes beautifully, and makes a great lunch, too.

Spring Is In the Air and The Real Invisible Chef Springs Forth

With a Great Spring Dinner

The first pale yellow jonquil is enough to bring your Chef joyfully to her feet, bounding recklessly around looking for tiny new flowers to exclaim over, admiring the bits of green peeping out on tree branches and on dull brown lawns and generally celebrating the arrival of her favorite time of the year.

They don’t call Spring the mating season for nuthin’. Even the bugs are going after it. It’s a time for romance, and what could be more romantic than somebody really really good looking with eyes only for you chasing you around in a field of wildflowers? And then sharing a wonderful meal?

While Spring all the world over is lovely, there is no place prettier than in the Hill Country of Texas. In your Chefs humble opinion, anyway. I think that God created the wildflowers of this state on that first Saturday because when He was done there was just no way left to top Himself. And He had something to enjoy on Sunday. Driving through the heart of Texas, at the height of the wildflower season, is something everyone ought to experience just once.

Imagine miles and miles of wide open vistas, rolling green hills carpeted with brilliant bluebonnets, accented with swaths of vivid red-orange Indian paint and artfully dotted here and there with tiny yellow and white and purple wild flowers. It’s truly a sight for the soul, the heart and the mind.

Still when one is done with the day’s drive one must complete the festivities with the proper springtime meal. What else than a starter of the best olives you ever tasted and fresh crispy/tender stalks of new asparagus, succulent roast Cornish Game Hens, and a wonderful salad/side dish. For a grand finale, break down and buy a carton (or two) of Godiva Dark Chocolate Ice Cream and some expensive crunchy cookies. Let’s begin, I think I hear the call of a daffodil right now.

Menu

Spiced Black & Green Olives with Lemon & Orange
Tiny Toasts to Dip in the Juices
Asparagus Just Right
The Invisible Chef’s Texas Bean Salad
A Matched Set of Cornish Game Hens
Godiva Dark Chocolate Ice Cream & Crunchy Cookies

Recipes

Spiced Black & Green Olives with Lemon & Orange

Serves 2 with leftovers
8 oz. green olives (plain, no seasonings)
8 oz. green olives (plain, no seasonings)
2 teaspoons grated orange rind
2 teaspoons grated lemon rind
2 tablespoons orange juice.
3 shallots, minced
1 teaspoon fresh chopped parsley
1 teaspoon fresh spearmint (read the Chef’s rant in the recipe below before you buy mint)
5 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
4 tablespoons white wine vinegar
2 tablespoons fennel seeds
2 tablespoons cumin seeds
Pinch of ground cinnamon
A package of those cute little square toasts

This is so delicious you’ll be glad you have leftovers. However, first, we have to talk. It’s time you know the truth. If you are old enough to cook (not to mention fool around) you probably already know there is no such thing as Santa Claus, or the Tooth Fairy. But here’s something I seriously doubt that your parents ever told you, even though they should have. The truth is there is no such thing as MINT. Nope…that stuff you see in the stores labeled “Mint” is Peppermint. It is not Spearmint…and don’t let that Doofus at the store tell you any different. If it doesn’t say Spearmint on the label (I’m talking the fresh herbs here) it’s not. If you are puzzled about the difference, buy a pack of Spearmint gum, and a pack of Peppermint gum. Chew a stick of each…you sure won’t be puzzled anymore. Your Real Invisible Chef gets really red in the face when she sees all these recipes for stuff with “mint” without ever telling you which mint they mean. And this recipe is a case in point. Make it with fresh spearmint and you’ll love it. Make it with store bought “mint” and you can use it to brush your teeth. If you can’t find spearmint in your grocery store go to your nearest garden shop and buy a small pot. Keep it in a sunny place and you’ll have spearmint for the rest of your life. There. That oughta do it. On with the recipe at hand.

Dry fry the cumin and fennel seeds in a small heavy bottom skillet over medium high heat, shaking it gently until the seeds begin to pop and give their mouthwatering aroma. Remove the seeds from the pan immediately and set aside to cool.
Place the olives, orange and lemon rinds, minced shallots, cinnamon, and toasted seeds in a bowl. Whisk the juices, vinegar, spearmint and parsley together and pour over the olives. Pour everything into a heavy duty zip lock bag, press out as much air as you can and let chill for a couple of days. You won’t be sorry you went to the trouble to make this. Trust me.


ASPARAGUS JUST RIGHT
Serves 2

First trick is to pick just the right bunch of asparagus. And that is entirely up to you…do you like big fat juicy stalks? Fragile little finger stalks? Or nicely in between. I’m one of the in-betweeners, but it’s entirely subjective. Look for fat green heads, not dried out, or brown tips. Stalks should be firm and not limp. Bring a big pot of water to boiling. Put a strainer in the sink so you can drain the cooked asparagus immediately.
Snap the bottom of the stems off the asparagus, allowing the break to happen where it naturally occurs. Rinse well, and when the water is at a full rolling boil toss the asparagus in. Do not salt the water! Depending on the size of the stalks the vegetable will cook in just a very few minutes. For skinny young stalks test after barely two minutes. Fish out a stalk, run it quickly under cold water and bite into it. It’s done when it is just crispy tender, not soft or soggy.
Overcooked asparagus is slimy and stringy and nasty. This is one pot that needs watching, and I don’t care what your mother said about pot watching. The minute it’s ready, pour it into the strainer and immediately run cold water over it to stop the cooking process. If you don’t do this you will end up with the aforementioned slimy stuff. And yes, I know it cools it off, but this is one vegetable that does not need to be hot to be wonderful.
To an asparagus purist’s way of thinking, you cannot go wrong serving it bare nekkid on a pretty plate. But for you fussy types you may set a small dish of melted butter mixed with a tiny squeeze of fresh lemon for dipping. .

The Real Invisible Chef’s Texas Bean Salad
Serves 6 and keeps a couple of days.

Salad mix
1 large can Ranch style beans (the Black Ranch Beans label) partially drained
1 cans Niblets sweet corn, drained
1 large vine ripened tomatoes, diced
1 large sweet red peppers, diced
1 bunches green onions sliced thin
1 medium zucchini, julienne, or sliced thin
1/2 cup of chopped fresh cilantro

Dressing mix
½ cup olive oil
1/3 cup Balsamic vinegar
2 large clove fresh garlic crushed
3 tablespoons chili powder
3 tablespoons ground cumin

Drain just the watery liquid off the beans, but not the thicker gravy. Mix all the ingredients in a large bowl…shake the dressing in a small container or whip with a wire whisk, and pour over the salad. Blend well. If you want more intense flavor try adding more balsamic vinegar, chili powder, and/or cumin…a little at a time, please…and taste, taste, taste…there are no rules. Use your creativity, if it tastes good to you it will taste good to your guests. Probably. Unless they are like my son-in-law who doesn’t believe in vegetables. And he hates this salad. So I make it a lot.

A Matched Set of Cornish Game Hens
Serves 2 Preheat oven to 450° then reduce to 350°to roast

2 Cornish Game hens
3 tablespoons olive oil
3 tablespoons melted butter

Tuck the wings under and truss the legs with string. If you don’t know how to do this, take the package to the butcher standing there behind the meat counter probably doing nuthin’ anyway and ask him to prepare the bird for roasting. Tuck the wings and tie the legs. Too embarrassed? Hold up your right arm, wince, and say “My wrist is all messed up. Darn computer, y’know.” Next time, you’ll know. Mix the butter and olive oil, and rub it well all over the birds. A dash of salt, a very light dash of pepper and you are ready to roll. Place trussed bird in a small roasting pan. Pre-heat the oven to 450° when you put the pan in the oven, immediately reduce the heat to 350° Roast, uncovered, for about 30 minutes, basting often. Just the way Og and Oggette ate them in the earliest Spring gardens. Two toasty brown cute little mini-chickens all snuggled up together. Kinda romantic don’t you think? Wait…don’t think about it too long, or you won’t be able to eat them.


Serve the ice cream in stemmed wine glasses. Cut crystal is best. Your honey will be astounded by your great culinary skills. And if you see a ghostly presence grinning at you from a corner of the room, pretend you don’t notice.

THE INVISIBLE CHEF MAKES SURPRISE APPEARANCE… RIGHT SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR KITCHEN!

Starting this very day The Invisible Chef, is going to be right by your side (unseen)to offer advice, encouragement, and (most importantly) easy recipes for everyday dining. Cooking is the Chef’s first love, hobby, interest and passion. So you don’t have to fret, with TIC in your kitchen you’ll never have to eat another burger biggie or greasy pizza again. Ever. Um-m-m, let me rephrase that. Ever until you want to again.

This column is devoted to the non-cook, the harried cook, the too-tired-to-cook cook, or anybody else standing in front of the fridge waiting for something edible to appear.
And to prove my point, the chef is going to start off with a recipe that has only two ingredients. (This recipe is way good enough to serve for company, or even your picky sister.)

BEST BEEF BRISKET YOU EVER ATE
One eight or so pound trimmed beef brisket, size is not critical. Just remember brisket is like cheap cotton T-shirts —it shrinks a lot. What you put in the oven will come out about 1/4 smaller. If you are feeding the Mongol horde, plan accordingly.

• 1 box Lipton’s Onion Soup/Recipe Mix (What did we do before this stuff came along?)

• Pull off a big hunk of heavy duty aluminum foil. (OK, I know I said only two things, but you are not going to eat the fpoil, are you?)

• Lay the brisket fat side up on the foil. Trim off as much of that nasty fat stuff as you can. Open up the soup packets and sprinkle them on top of the brisket.

• Wrap the foil around loosely (so there will be room for the juices) and fold it so that it is sealed shut.

• Put it in a 325 degree oven for 5 hours.

• Check to see if it’s really tender. If not, cook another hour. It stays hot so you can set if at the back of the stove top if it’s done early.

See, I told you it would be easy! When it’s done, it will fall apart in the pan, and you’ll have lots of luscious beefy flavored juices too.

SERVE IT WITH. . .
Serve it with Au Gratin potatoes (from a box) but add a bunch (1/2 cup for you newbies) of chopped fresh cilantro to the sauce mix. And don’t tell anybody I taught you this. As far as they’ll ever know, you thought this up all by yourself. It’s highly unlikely that anyone but you will read this column, and your secret is safe with me.

Now then, for the veggie, steam fresh carrots (you can buy ‘em in a bag already peeled if you are in a hurry, or don’t want to bother with peeling) When they are tender, (not mushy please, the chef dislikes her lovely fresh vegetables destroyed) place in a serving bowl and add a spoonful of sugar (or Splenda) and a generous tablespoon of freshly squeezed orange juice. Slather on a big pat of butter or any of that other yellow stuff that passes for butter and allow it to sit for a few minutes. Serve. And watch it disappear before your very eyes.

If you don’t have a steamer, the Chef encourages you to go get one, you’ll never be sorry. Steamed vegetables are way tastier in the Chef’s humble opinion. And the chef has tons of humble opinions as you will learn as we get to know one another better.
Do this dinner on Saturday or Sunday and you’ll feast all week. Trust me.
Dessert, on the other hand is not likely to last that long.


LEMON BAR COOKIES WITH FRESH RASPBERRY SAUCE
Buy lemon bar cookies from the bakery, not the box kind.

• 1/2 jar seedless raspberry jam (Smuckers is best)

• 1 box fresh raspberries (You can use frozen ones, but the directions will change. Read on)

• Whipped Cream (in a can is best for this recipe)

Heat the jam in a sauce pan over low heat. When it melts, remove from the heat and allow to cool slightly. You may have to add a spoonful or so of water to thin the melted jam just a bit, then toss in the raspberries, and stir gently. Allow to cool. If you re using frozen raspberries, drain them in a sieve over a cup, and then use the juice to thin the heated jam. Just before serving top the lemon bar with spoonfuls of the sauce, and a big swoosh of the whipped cream.

Sit back and take the compliments gracefully. If you stick with your new best friend, The Invisible Chef, you’ll have lots more!